Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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