Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I forget how to act sober
Randomize