I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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