Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
