After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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