We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
