I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize