i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize