Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
