It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
