you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My dick has a subreddit
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
