They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
