whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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