I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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