do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize