we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
