She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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