You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
