do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
