I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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