drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
