I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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