I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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