lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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