she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
