So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
