Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
