How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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