well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
