The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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