She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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