I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
