I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
