this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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