giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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