Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
