I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize