She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
