At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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