i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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