She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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