I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
