So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
