Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
