I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Randomize
