Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
