I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
