fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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