There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Be still, my beating vagina.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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