Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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