they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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