I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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