i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
