The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
