so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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